Poetry Challenge Day 17

I’m a little late tonight, but hey, at least it’s getting posted, right? Especially with my track record!
Anyways, today’s challenge was simply to write a poem with a rhyme scheme. Easy enough. In fact, I think the hardest part was choosing a topic!

A beat, a rhythm, a glorious rhyme,
Two hearts, merged, pound out the time,
Flying, soaring, both together as one,
We eat up the ground, give in and run. 
There is one thing words will never describe,
And that is the horse, with a girl by his side. 

As always, criticism is much appreciated!
-Rattler

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2 thoughts on “Poetry Challenge Day 17

  1. Utterly LOVE the first line! The poem is fantastic and I love the meter too. The only thing I would suggest even thinking about tweaking is the line

    “Flying, soaring, both together as one” I stumbled over it the first time because I was locked into the ground images. When I read it the second time (because the words were tickling my ears) I went “AHA I bet she means they took a jump” but I didn’t “get” it right away.

    • Rattler says:

      Thank you!! I will definitely look into tweaking at that. I actually wrote it with 2 meanings in mind – the first is, as you said, a jump, the second is also the feeling of flight you have when you ask your horse for a gallop. It’s so fast, the wind whipping your cheeks, with your feet so high off the ground, and your arms pumping with their neck almost as if you were flapping wings, sometimes you could swear you’re flying in the air. But I definitely see what you are saying, thanks for the input!!

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