NaNoWriMo Day 19: Sky High

Yeehaw! I’m so bouncy and high on words it’s not even funny. And I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with the double dark chocolate espresso-infused brownies I made and consumed.

And a little snippet, just because I’m feeling nice. At least, that’s what the buzzing at the back of my head is telling me.

“Elizabeth… I…” I shake my head, and my smile falls. She smiles giddily, as though just the sound of my voice were enough to make her day. She waits eagerly for me to finish, gradually looking more and more uncertain. I glance at my feet, stalling. You know what you have to do. I take a deep breath, and meet her steady gaze.

“You’re an amazing person, Eliz. I wouldn’t have made it without your cheerful face brightening up this dark world we live in, and I’ll always feel a little happier knowing that at least one soul has made it through this ugly world unscathed. But I’m not worth your love, Eliz. Nothing good ever comes of being around me. I’m not… I’m not who I seem to be.” I say it gently, wincing at the sharp look in her eyes.

“Judas, that Leviathan junk is just nonsense. It’s a label, nothing more. A name doesn’t make you a monster. I know you Judas! You aren’t what they say you –“

“It’s not the name, Eliz. That name came from the rebels. The survivors. Prisoners. The ones that had seen what I was capable of, and escaped me. The soldiers just latched onto it.” I cut her off. I can’t do this. She’s too kind, too caring. I can’t break her like this. It’s not right! After all she’s done for me…

Let me do it then, Jude. I may be cruel, but I’m not a heartless wretch. She deserves better than you. Than us. She deserves someone that can truly love her. You know that you can’t.

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