NaNoWriMo Day 29: Take a Peek

Sorry for getting this up a day late! Yesterday ended up being extremely busy, and I wasn’t able to write anything at all. I had to go to bed earlier as well, in order to be fully rested for my Honors College interview today. But, I’m posting this now, as I promised. This is the last 500 words of the 50,000 I wrote for NaNoWriMo.

“How is your leg doing, Jesse? Any improvement?” I ask softly as we walk.

“Mr. Mullen is hopeful that I’ll regain a good bit of motion in it, and I’m doing all I can to ensure that happens. But we wont really know until it decides to tell us. There’s only so much we can do to promote healing… especially here.” She replies, her voice in its taught-to-be-low voice that completes the male charade she nearly constantly carries, yet still bright and bouncy. Too much so.

“Jesse… no disrespect, but that’s not what I asked, sir.” I say gently, looking at her back. She stops, and slowly turns to face me. Her facade bears every trace of exhaustion, from the blue bags beneath her eyes to the lines across her brow. She sighs deeply, running a hand over her face before meeting my gaze.

“Honestly… it’s frustrating… and… well, a bit frightening. I mean, John and I are doing the best we can to help it heal, but any improvement is slight and a long time in coming. That shot… it just did so much damage, and our resources are so limited, we can’t know for sure if it will ever heal properly. And if it doesn’t… How will I lead my men Jude? How will I do my part? How will I keep my men and myself safe? It’s a harsh world out there and…” She sighs again and cuts herself off, shaking her head and pasting on a smile again. Just like Ginger, in a way. The thought pains me, but I keep my focus on Jesse.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you like that. Don’t worry about me, Jude. I’ll be fine. You already saved me once, remember? I’m already indebted to you for that. Really, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, whatever happens.” Her smile becomes more genuine, and I smile back, content with the answer. Such a strong little creature, handling all that pain and all that fear without complaint.

“You alright Jude?” Jesse asks, looking at me with concern.

“I’m fine. I… I’m glad you could unload that, Jesse. No one should have to bear a load like that alone. It’s not right, and it’s not healthy. I may only be a rookie, but I’m always happy to lend an ear. We each have a life to live, we all have fears. Not even the great Jesse is bulletproof.” I respond, silencing Judas with a shake of the head. She gives me a funny look, and I blush.

“Sorry! That was a poor choice of words.” She laughs, and I join her.

“Jude, you really are too kind. And you crack me up. You’re just so funny and easy to talk to. Thanks for the ear.” She smiles, and we walk on towards the range.

By the time we arrive, the others have begun to fall into line, waiting. Jesse sits nearby, and we collect our weapons.

NaNoWriMo Day 28: VICTORY

I am shocked out of my mind right now. Beyond words. Or the ability to type. So I’ll just let the video do the talking.

I will post a snippet tomorrow, once my hands have stopped shaking and become steady enough to copy the words.

NaNoWriMo Day 27: Back in Action

With multiple cough drops, much tea, and general coaxing, I was actually able to find my voice and stop hacking up a lung long enough to do my vlog tonight. It’s a miracle! I hope I’m doing better by tomorrow. But I was much worse today, an it’s looking like I’m getting sick. But hey, better now than earlier in the month!

Now, rather than posting an excerpt from my novel tonight, I though it appropriate to share the poem I performed today. The first one, that is. The second one is on my poems page, titled Feel the Thunder.

The world was dark and there was nothing,

Not a whisper, not a sound.

Space was vast, and null, and void,

Not light, nor dark, was seen.

There were no eyes to survey the land,

Nor a dimension in which to lay,

There was no time to waste away,

None of our known constraints.

There was nothing.

Nothing, a concept difficult for man to understand.

Because since the beginning of time,

And from the moment of our body’s birth,

There has always been something.

But the very definition of nothing

Is the complete absence of something.

So what, then, is something?

Something is anything confined by space and time,

Bound by those mortal shackles we have all felt

Wearing down on us before.

Scientists call this wearing down of our skins

The property of entropy.

Everything that is something is always

Losing its organization, from the molecular structure out.

For this reason we will all return to dust,

Become the dust from whence we came.

But this is not some line from a musty old book,

This is the truth.

For we were nothing, and there was nothing,

Until that first breath was heard upon the earth.

It was the breath that created time and space,

That formed a dimension and filled it with life.

It was the breath that put the stars in the heavens,

And that brought the world to be.

It put us all in motion, gave us immortality.

We were the culmination, the crowning glory of this earth,

But in grace and love He granted us free will.

This gift was given to further glorify Him,

By allowing us to create, to build,

To shine His character in our own unique ways.

We were not made as puppets, dangling from strings.

But in our foolish quest for power we haphazardly cut them anyway,

Not realizing that they were not controlling us.

These strings were not merely strings but lifelines,

Our lifelines to eternity.

When we had finally shaken ourselves free of these strings,

We became brittle, coarse, and weak,

And finally realized that we are not able to sustain ourselves.

Forever became a memory from the past,

A word we say with strong emotions,

But can no longer fully understand.

And yet a part of us still longs for our eternity,

Our souls ache for the perfection we know we once owned.

In our longing for freedom, we sold ourselves to the harshest of masters.

We severed ourselves from the tree of life,

Embracing the tantalizing winds of change and hoping to find a better place.

But its tendrils did not grasp us and we tumbled to the ground,

Our faces in the dirt and muck.

The boots of the gardener would step around us,

The pouring rains trample us down.

We had no ability to pick ourselves up,

No power to return to the tree,

To the safety and stability that we discovered we truly wanted.

Change was not all it was cracked up to be.

The promise of a new and shining tomorrow had washed away,

And left us there to rot.

But not all hope was lost.

For even through the sun’s harsh rays,

The wind’s howling, ripping currents,

The rain’s relentless force,

The gardener was watching.

When at last we’d given in,

Realized we were nothing,

Born from nothing,

Raised from nothing,

Fallen to nothing,

And returning to nothing,

He came again.

Not with fire to burn the imperfections away,

But in love, to save us from our foolish decision.

Hope was not in the wind,

It was in the place we’d fought so hard to leave.

From hope we left,

To hope we could now return.

He graphed us back into our tree of eternity,

He placed the key within our shackle’s lock…

All we have to do is accept it, and turn the key.

NaNoWriMo Day 26: Heaven Help Us

Due to a load of homework and the need to rest my voice for my slam performance tomorrow, I will not be able to post a vlog tonight. I’m still struggling to regain my voice, and I fear it will not return by the time I need it tomorrow. My apologies everyone! To make it up to you all, I leave you with kittens.

NaNoWriMo Day 25: Is That a Frog in Your Throat?

Why, yes. I do have a frog in my throat! I was just able to pull enough of my voice together for the video tonight, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to talk full and strong again by tomorrow. I have to rest my voice, however, because I’m performing my debut slam poem live, in public, for the first time on Tuesday afternoon. I will probably have a video for you, assuming my friends show up. No promises as to the quality, but I’m going to do my best, and hope my voice comes back before then.